Life, Day by Day

A friend told me the other day that she resigned from her good-paying government job but will be starting work with a private corporation soon although with lesser salary, but that did not matter.  She explained that after more than 10 years, she has reached the maximum level of where she wants to be in that organization and it was time to move on to more exciting things.  I was happy for her.  As someone who also worked for government almost all of my entire adult life, I thought she was very brave to take a step outside the box. Her decision once again reminded me of how I wished I had that courage to do the same during those times in my life when I wanted to opt out from government service too.  But I thought too much about the years and the money I have invested for my retirement that I couldn't risk changing jobs in mid-life. Oh well, that dilemma has been decided for me when I was suddenly dismissed from my job late last year. I have never been the type to dw...

Do you ever get that feeling that there is something you are trying to find in your life but you don't really know what it is? Well, I do...and I get it in waves.  You know, one that comes and goes...it does not have a pattern but it happens once or twice every few years and when it does, I get unfocused.  Heehee...after writing that, I realized I make it sound like I'm having some kind of breakdown.  Don't worry, I am as sane as ever (although some people I know would disagree), it's just that I get these times in my life when I ask myself, is this it for me?  I guess it's part of the aging process when you know that there is really no turning back and you realize...hey, my life is half over!  Where did all that time go?  How come I don't feel older? But...but...there are still so many things I want to do!  A friend jokingly said...the heat must be getting to me ;)  He also said that there will always be enough time.  This friend is wise and...

What is it about summer that brings about a certain restlessness in me. I used to think summer mattered only for those who are still in school and looking forward to vacation, but so many years have passed since my schooldays and still when summer arrives, I always get that feeling of anticipation...that sense of holiday that only summer could bring...everytime. Is it because there are still school-age kids in the house? Or maybe because it is too near Christmas break that somehow I haven't shed off the holiday mood. But summer started late this year since it continued to rain till mid-March. In fact, it was only in April that the rains stopped...and not entirely because till now, there's minimal to moderate rainfall at least once a week during late afternoons to evenings making nights cooler. In a way, it's nice because the humidity is high during the day, but on the other hand, a rainy summer is a sure sign of climate change. So maybe...in reality...it's not about su...

I was in a bookstore today and I saw this book about finding Joy in life and it dawned on me that the passion that I have been wishing for will forever elude me without joy in my life. But how? Joy is such a simple word so why is it not easy to find? My days are often filled with laughter but thinking about this as I type, humor is not quite the same as having joy, is it? I mean, there are so many things everyday that can annoy me but I also see the funny side of it all so that my stress level never quite gets off the ground. Yet, I realize that inspite of having humor and laughter in my life, there seems to be a lack of real joy. The kind of joy that makes one look forward to the day at hand..the kind that makes you want to wake up in the morning...the kind that makes your eyes sparkle and brings a smile to your face...the kind that makes one sing and feel energized. I want to be joyful like that, but where do I start? What is the biggest barrier to my experiencing joy despite any c...

I need to find time...and to use it to re-energize...to find my passion for living which somehow I seem to have misplaced somewhere. There always seems to be something going on in my life everyday but it all seems meaningless. I'm not unhappy...on the contrary, my days basically have a lot of laughter. But being busy doing the things I should do is not the same as doing the things I want to do. So what is it? What exactly is missing? Inspiration? Passion? Purpose? I guess basically I want to wake up every morning feeling excited about getting out of bed and doing something to make a difference in people's lives including mine. I want to discover what makes my heart sing...

Now-a-days nothing excites me except perhaps mall sales and shopping...but then I would need a lot of money for that, wouldn't I? I think I need a boost... exactly what kind? ...I'm not sure but I know it should be something to perk me up. Like yesterday for example, there were a lot of activities this Sunday but I had no energy or much interest for it. I just slept the whole afternoon instead of going to the gym where Ramie was having a taekwondo tournament. Is this another burn-out...duh...