Life, Day by Day

I have been so busy...with work, work, work...then some more work. I guess you are now picturing one very harassed woman. Truth is...you're probably right. But I don't let it get to me...it's just one of those months where everything is happening all together. It's no big deal. Really. Okay, so now where was I the last time?...Oh yes, I was talking about the kids in my life. When I reached 30, I used to wonder if I would ever settle down and marry or if not, then what would my life be when I grow old. Now I know. I have 3 wonderful kids in my life, my adopted son, my nephew and niece, whom I adore and who adores me back. Where are the parents, one might ask? Well, my son knows his birth mother and my nephew and niece live with their father but it is me, their "Nanang" whom they consider "mom". I used to say I did not want children because I had no patience for them. Oh sure, they were fun to be around with, but not all the time. Then my ...

Is maternal instinct inherently found in every woman? I ask this because my brother's wife from whom he has been separated from more than a year ago, doesn't seem to have any. I have never known a woman with so little maternal instinct that the very rare moments that it shows goes unrecognized and undetected. The care of her children has been delegated to a caregiver since infancy. So it is no wonder that the children rarely miss her. I act as a surrogate mom because I love them and I feel so sorry for them. I thank God that in spite of their parents' weaknesses and faults, they seem to be happy children. Maybe because they are only 8 and 6.

I know I said I don't dwell on the past and I don't. Sometimes though, like today for instance, I get to wishing I was 20 again. I don't remember much about being 20 but if one could go back and do things all over again, this is the age I want to be. Being 20 means you're past your teenage years and all its uncertainties, but still young enough to be open to all kinds of possibilities. Of course if I do go back, I would keep everything I know and learned about adulthood and mid-life, otherwise what's the point of being young again when you will be as clueless as the first time. So what would be the first thing I'd do? I'd be friendlier, less judgmental and take people for what they are and not what I'd like them to be. I'd also learn to be a more gentle person, and expand my horizons. Of course, if I want to be all those things, I really don't have to go back in the past, do I?

I live in a country that's humid and warm most of the year and so when cool weather comes, I welcome it with gladness and joy....but,... not when this cool weather comes as a result of rain. When I woke up at 7 this morning, I thought the alarm went off early because it was still dark outside. My son came rushing into my room...loudly, I might add, asking me to bring him to school since it was drizzling outside. Well, being the good mom that I try to be, I grudgingly got off the bed, washed my face and went into the van in my night clothes. As I dropped him off, I told myself, cool weather at last. It's past 2 in the afternoon and that slight drizzle is turning into a little typhoon. Here I am sitting in my office and I have not done any real work today. I don't know about other people but rainy days makes me lazy and sleepy. I know someone who feels sad when it rains and my friend who used to live in London told me that winter depresses her. I like rain but probably not wi...

Today, I finally did...created a blog, although I don't exactly know what a "blog" is. I think in my days we called it a diary...or journal which nobody reads except yourself, unless of course you have a nosy brother or sister. Anyway, I think the principle is similar, only this time, everybody who is anybody and interested in what I have to say can get to read what I write down...And to me that's good because my life is an open book anyway. I call my "blog"...Only for Today. Why? well, I wanted to call it "all about my days" but I made a mistake signing in, so that title is lost forever.... Then I thought of One Day At A time...nope, no can do...someone got that first. So since I live my days one day at a time and never worry about the future or dwell upon the past...I think it's apropos for me to write about things...only for today. So hello to everyone and welcome to my days..